Friday, 20 April 2018

41

I usually love my birthday and get so excited to celebrate it and I must say that this year has been a struggle.  I cannot believe a year ago, I turned 40 with a wonderful party and all things seeming possible.  I wrote my 40 list of things to do, my father had won his battle with cancer, the year seemed like it would be a great one.  How wrong was I.  This morning I woke up with such a deep sense of sadness.  I miss him terribly, I will miss speaking to him today, I will miss his birthday card, well I just miss everything about him.  I know from losing my mum that this pain will ease with time, but it never goes away.  I know I am very lucky and have woken up in a beautiful place with a husband determined to make it a wonderful day no matter how grumpy and unresponsive I am being.  But it still does not ease the pain I am feeling.
Having said that, I had a lovely day yesterday and have really enjoyed our little holiday together.  The weather has been great and we did some paddle boarding and Kayaking.  I am now going to try and enjoy the rest of the day and be a little less grumpy to poor Luis!









Nai Harn beach is truly beautiful, but I am now ready to go up north to see Lola Cola and get my birthday cuddles from her.

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