I often wonder how I possibly survived till 35 without Suzanna, time and time again this women saves me from the disaster that I am. Thanks to her I am all checked in and hopefully on my way to my mojito, 20 hours ago this seemed almost impossible.
Yesterday morning I discovered that you need a tourist card for Cuba, not a visa, just a card. Almost all airlines will give or sell you this, or your travel agent provides it (which I did not have), but the one that does not and apparently laughs at people when they deny them boarding for not having one is Air Chance, apparently Air France's nickname and of course the airline I booked with. So Suzanna called every travel agent, Air France, Cuban Embassy, everyone, and of course no one would give us one, or sell us one (at this point I would have paid a lot). While she did this I sat on the sofa pale as a ghost trying not to be sick. A long story short, we discovered a place in Zurich airport that would possibly have one, we drove there and I paid 70 Francs (three times the worth but would have paid a lot more) for a scrap of paper.
Hunting down and getting this paper took at least five years off my life and once again a huge thanks to my roommate for preventing my complete meltdown.
Lessons learnt from this experience: always investigate visas (I did do some research but this is not a visa), never fly Air Chance again and never ever let Suzanna move out.